Why I Hate the Phrase “Know Your Worth” and Her Evil Sister “Love Yourself”

I’m sure many of you have run into the above phrases and while spending time on social. In this post I recorded some thoughts AND reservations I have about those two phrases even though I understand the message of self preservation behind them. Click here to listen to this message. As usual I look forward to hearing (or reading) your thoughts on this topic. I also want to hear your thoughts on the take a knee stance in the NFL right now. I’m gonna post on this topic as well.


A Lesson For Men About The Women They Don’t Own | HuffPost

Another internet “find”. I’ll be back posting this Sunday on BOOKWORM. I’ll be posting a review on the play A Kept Woman which is at the King Arts Complex tonight at 8 pm. I’ll be going live on Facebook to discuss it. Bye.

The Single Black Woman Conundrum Pt. 3

NOW after this beat down on to the TRUE  perspective………

This one is even funnier ………

Now does any of this sound just a bit ridiculous and stereotypical and CRAZY to anyone but me???? This is my TGIF post. Right now I’m studying for midterms and don’t have much time for a long post. Next week  I’ll be back to tackle these and a few other beefs I have with this whole topic. Until then, enjoy these clips and have yourself a good laugh and a FABULOUS weekend!!!!!!!

The Single Black Woman Conundrum Pt.2

Genesis 1:26-29

   26God said, Let Us [Father, Son, and Holy Spirit] make mankind in Our image, after Our likeness, and let them have complete authority over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, the [tame] beasts, and over all of the earth, and over everything that creeps upon the earth.(D)

    27So God created man in His own image, in the image and likeness of God He created him; male and female He created them.(E)

    28And God blessed them and said to them, Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it [using all its vast resources in the service of God and man]; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and over every living creature that moves upon the earth.

    29And God said, See, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the land and every tree with seed in its fruit; you shall have them for food.

2:7 7Then the Lord God formed man from the [a]dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath or spirit of life, and man became a living being.(C)


 18Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.

    19And out of the ground the Lord God formed every [wild] beast and living creature of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them; and whatever Adam called every living creature, that was its name.

    20And Adam gave names to all the livestock and to the birds of the air and to every [wild] beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.

    21And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs or a part of his side and closed up the [place with] flesh.

    22And the rib or part of his side which the Lord God had taken from the man He built up and made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.

    23Then Adam said, This [creature] is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a man.

    24Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.(E)

    25And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other’s presence.

The first time I saw the above video was on the post of a Facebook friend. He asked what we , the female FB community that follows him, thought of it. My opinion? It’s the words of someone who has deep rooted issues of self-hatred that he is using to berate black women. At least this is the cleaned up version of what I put in his comment box. The one comment I agreed with, out of all the other comments, was that of a young black man (believe it or not). The young man made the statement that it’s easy to sit back and point fingers and asked the question, “Would Black men do any better if Black women were M.I.A.  or AWOL for DECADES and black men had the job of two parents (mother and father)”.  Excellent point !!!!! The disturbing part of this rhetoric is that many black men and women have bought into it (scary). In a later post, I’ll uncover where these attitudes come from because they’re not new by any stretch of the imagination.

I venture to say that black men faced with the same set of circumstances would do the same thing that black women have done for decades. Pool their resources. Fathers would tell their sons to “bring the baby home” and proceed to make room for baby. Babysit whenever possible and help the young brother out because “it ain’t the baby’s fault”. They would sit and try to figure out why women are the way they are , fathers would shake their heads, heartbroken that the young man chose a path that, while  rewarding, is hard work even when done by two people much less one who is so young and can barely take care of themselves. In other they would “make do”.

I started this post with scriptural references because I wanted to point people to the truth (John 8:32). You see I agree with God‘s word that parenting is meant to be  done by two’s. Don’t get me wrong, one good parent is better than two horrible ones any day. But God gifted each gender with attributes (of His)  that when brought together within the covenant of marriage, girds  us with the ability to be a dynamic parenting team. An unstoppable force (both spiritual and carnal) to be reckoned with.

Because of our history in the U.S., this has not always been an easy task. With the advent of slavery, Jim Crow, and later sociological issues that have fought us as a people, we’re finally starting to realize that to make this thing called life work, we need each other. However, the hating has to stop. The problem I have with this situation is the anti-black women sentiment turn that has taken place. It seems like every insult that ever been said about black women is all being said at once. And it’s not fair. If not for black women stepping up and doing what needed to done, we would not have made it as a people. I have a problem with the sentiments expressed in this video and those who see it as truth (puh-lease) because it’s so far removed from the truth that it ain’t even truth’s play cousin. It’s time to stop buying into our own negative press and communicate with each like people and not stereotypes.  All black women aren’t hard to get along with. And if you were one person doing the job of two, you might be a little cranky too.

PS  Since when is Octomom Black?

The Single Black Woman Conundrum pt.1

Conundum-a.Question or problem having only a conjectural answer b.An intricate and difficult problem.

Conjecture- A proposition that is unproven but APPEARS correct and has NOT been disproven.

Scenerio #1 Man of African-American descent works very hard at a chosen craft (business, sports, music, politics, acting), gains a considerable amount of success and status (after paying dues), reaches for and gets brass ring,decides to marry outside his ethnicity and as a parting shot gives an interview about his decision to do so (why???) and decides to list everything that is wrong with African-American women forgetting that he has a mother, sisters, cousins and female friends who have supported him up to this point. Thus giving us the finger (yes, that finger).

Scenerio#2 Writer writes an article charging the Black Church with the “plight” of single black women stating that it is responsible for “keeping them single” News at 11″

Scenerio#3 “National black man back to church movement” is spearheaded. Movement is seemingly “sensitive to the needs of black men” but relaxes God‘s standards to meet this goal (notice I said God’s standards and the church’s, the two aren’t always synonymous). Funny what people do when they lose faith in God.

Scenerio#4 National news network does story about the inability of professional African-American to find quality relationships. Second national news program has panel discussion, brings high African-American male to help address the issue who promptly blames, you guessed it, African-American women (a sistah can’t win for losing).

When I was younger, one of my favorite radio programs to listen to was “The Rest of the Story” by Paul Harvey. The program went a little something like this, Mr.Harvey would present a story or some little known facts about a public figure. After this he would say ” this is Paul Harvey, now for the rest of the story” implying that there was more to the story than what the public was privy (had access) to.Well, I’m Anjanette Potter of AnjanetteSpeak and here’s the rest of the story.

You would have to live under a rock to not have at least have heard snippets of the buzz about the “plight” of single black women in the U.S. I put plight in quotes, not to play down the issue, but to keep from playing up the hype,but, is it all hype? Let’s look a closer at the issue, I don’t have a bunch of numbers to throw at you but I will say this much, book sells on books about marriage and relationships have gone up, especially those that are designed to help women know the inner workings of men. The problem with all this? It portrays women as standing around wringing their hands desperately yelling “whatta we gonna do?” (Gimme a break). Not to say there isn’t some concern on the part of women period ,not just black women, remember what I said earlier about those book sells.

However,I remember hearing a saying about not letting a shopkeeper know you are desperate for his goods because it drives the price up. Well, I believe the shopkeeper smells the desperation because the merchandise (men) keeps driving up its own price. Nothing pumps up an ego quicker than knowing that half the population will now do anything to have you , including lowering its standard for what a decent man is.

I remember being a younger woman back in the 80’s when there was a bunch of hype about a man shortage (white women got to take part in this one, WOW!!!!bet they felt honored ) and we had the same thing back then (a hot mess).

So how do we fix this hot mess? Through honest communication with each side listening to what the other has to say. In AnjanetteSpeak to listen is hear with your heart. God didn’t create man out of his own rib, He created woman. And He created her so the man wouldn’t be alone. So since men can’t marry themselves, it stands to reason that they would listen as well as speak. Don’t get me wrong, some of the best advice I ever got about relationships came from my male friends. However, they never advised as though I was a stereotype. They advised me as though I was a person.